Do You Want to be a Saint?

The music teacher at the Saint Louis School Mass held the book in one hand and raised the other. And we sang in proclamation with him, “Lord, this is the people that long to see your face.”

Then he sang, “Who may go up the mountain of the LORD? Who can stand in his holy place? ‘The clean of hand and pure of heart, who has not given his soul to useless things, what is vain (Psalm 24:3-4).’”

I encounter the Lord so powerfully when Mr. Hoffer sings. He sang that line and I started to cry. How much I want to go up the mountain of the Lord!

About eight years ago, I asked the Lord questions about why I was suffering. I told Him I was camping out everyday in the chapel until He answered me. The Lord promises to answer those who seek Him in perseverance and I can testify to this. He told me many things.

Among the things He said were that I should not have mixed my Christian faith with other spiritualities. He said I was breaking the first commandment. And then He said that I had to forgive several people that I absolutely never wished to forgive. Jesus forgave from the Cross and He expected me to follow. The Lord said these were obstacles to my getting to Heaven.

With things put into such stark reality, getting to Heaven became for me a very serious priority. I have spent pretty much every moment since then making my life into a purgatory, hoping very much the Lord will allow me to enter into the place that Revelation says, “Nothing unclean will enter.”

Although the Lord has brought me a long way on the first two things, I have not become sinless. Instead, I find with Saint Paul that I keep committing the sins I do not wish to do. May the Lord help me to break bad habits. But I recently took solace in a wonderful place. Last month, I attended the Mass in honor of Saint Michael at the Cathedral, during which Deacon Guadalupe Rodriguez urged us to offer our Communion to the angels. The angels cannot receive this material Communion of bread because they are immaterial. But they gain from the spiritual communion of Jesus’ presence. They gain graces by our offering.

I cried listening to Mr. Hoffer sing about the purity of those who will see God. And I longed so much to be like the angels who see God perfectly and love Him. I pray that they will help me to be more like them.

The Lord told me eight years ago I had impediments to Heaven and it made me want Heaven like never before. I want every moment to be for God. I want to love Him perfectly. 

This All Saints Day, I am filled with the desire to be a saint. Are you?